Just prepping the iPhone app to continue blogging on the road through Sunday’s drive! More to come then! Love it!

Wow! I clearly have been in an academic setting for far too long.  You can thank me later for completely erasing the last post I was working on and sparing you the flowery, metaphorical read that clearly was influenced my by academic literary and language studies in university.  For now on, my posts are going to be more of a monological conversation (not academic discussion) of the craziness in my life, as I go exploring a new country that I am soon making my home with my fiance, Andrew.  Let’s be real here, people, it is not always so glamorous; the last week really has made me think this whole experience is really a bit of a pain in my ass!

I got a huge slap in the face, even a jab to the stomach by reality on Sunday, as I thought the world was going to crumble, and the rapture was TRULY happening, as I turned into one of the biggest drama queens imaginable, as I experienced the overwhelming stress from the fact that this is it!  The fairy-tale dream state I was in was all at once over.  It suddenly wasn’t a good idea anymore to go to Canada after graduation with two bachelor degrees in my pocket and not have any sign of a real job that would lead me to my house with a white picket fence and trophy wife on my arm… oops! I guess that one really was a dream.

Well here I am, sitting on the right-side of this unmade queen-size bed and looking around at a simple room after tucking away a lifetime of memories into boxes, and I think, “damn! My fairy-tale really is turning into reality!”

After all that has happened on this euphoric roller coaster, I am taking the time to realize that I am accomplishing the one, consistent dream I have had for years now, to move to Canada, where, for me, I arrive and the angelic voices sing from above, because it is the place that instantly welcomed me like the last piece of an intricate puzzle and seemed like any moment I could see happy-go-lucky Disney characters skipping alongside me and birds chirping beside through the forest making me realize my inner Disney Princess truly is Aurora from Sleeping Beauty… *sigh* such nostalgia of my childhood.

In all seriousness though, it’s been the biggest challenge I could have ever embarked on, dealing with immigration and a long-distant relationship that truly has walked some thin ice at times, but the endurance throughout it all somehow has remained constant.  I am the first to admit that growing up an only child, I definitely have me-me-me-attitude at times, and well, I may unleash said personal attribute on a certain handsome, fine, young chap, only feeding a fire of fury already ignited within myself and quickly releasing flames from the depths of hell so powerful to start World Wars III, IV and V, because Andrew and I certainly have had our handful of arguments and hardships going through this experience together, and well, it might as well be the rapture happening every few weeks with both of our tempers and stubbornness, but you know, I still couldn’t think of anyone else I would rather be marrying in a beautiful chalet in the middle of Stanley Park during Vancouver’s rainy winter on January 23 (mark your calendars) and somehow calling it a ski-destination wedding! 😀

So the moral of this story you all is: anyone who thinks moving to another country for love is a walk in the park… you are a delusional nutcase, but here’s to you!

Cheers! xoxo

Hello World; it’s me again.

Today as I’ve gone through my day after quite a whirlwind of an evening out in Salt Lake City, something that doesn’t happen quite often. A melancholic feeling lay over me as I danced into the wee hours of the morning amongst a crowd that was, well… amusing to observe with a few years as our distance, wondering what each individual’s goals are, purpose for a night out, whether it’s to find love, lust or to forget all and fade into a zone unbeknownst to anyone but themselves.

As I woke up today, I had a thought, or memory really, come to mind: my eleventh grade art class as an exchange student in Bamberg, Germany. I have since forgotten the original teacher’s name, but I will always remember the art project I was thrown into without having any formal art classes or desire to draw, paint, create visual arts as I was forced to then. It seemed my classmates had much more practice and training making beautiful, amateur pieces of art than I.

In any case, the first assignment of my German art class was to create a visual under the topic “Kommunikation.” Uh… ok?

At the time my take on communication was a horribly drawn telephone, computer, and a few other electronic versions, by which one could “communicate.” Then it was poorly colored after to make it extra artistic with a few swishes and squiggly lines to show a clear, cut and dry portrayal of my idea of communication.

After five years, my ideas or take on this assignment have changed- although, I don’t think the artistic skills have improved much. Today, I think of this assignment, and in my mind, I create a silvery, gray sketch of two people sitting at a table. It could be a dining room, a cafe or a restaurant. Both with a look of sadness in their eyes, perhaps one with closed eyelids, turning away from the other, who caresses his partner’s hand in a sign that whatever struggle they are going through, they are together in the struggle, and all is not lost.

From outside the scene, there is light coming from the direction of the man holding his partner’s hand, representing their future. Sort of a “move into the light” idea, rather than stay in the darkness that has turned into this situation at hand; it is the direction of hope.

I feel these elements that I would draw into my depiction of communication are telling of what is to come of these figures. The figure, who turns away is at a loss for hope, needing to find confidence once again. The one, who holds onto the other’s hand, shows us that he hasn’t given up hope; he is still in this, and when he can convince his partner to look forward, to look to the right- to the light and turn towards the future rather than dwell with closed eyes in the past, they will make it.

Clearly, we don’t know what words are exchanged, but that’s not the only way to communicate, is it? Essentially, this depiction is heavily based on body language as we can read from the picture, but the key is that we “read” the picture; we put our words together with the physical embodiment of the situation and create an overall message. We can take it for face value, or we can choose to read between the lines, working a little harder to decipher the meaning of something, trying again to improve our knowledge and understanding of what lays before us, eventually realizing what is it that is required of one’s self to receive the meaning.

As a sixteen year-old, communication was simply a material concept to me; today, it is much more of an art that must be created and evolve. Kommunikation is mysterious, yet decipherable. Kommunikation interlocks us, everyone. However, how we communicate affects the strength of those interlocking bonds, which in turn allow us to feel pain, love, friendship, stress, happiness- you name it. Kommunikation is not a an electronic device; it is the core of our human existence, our world.

I really thought a moment of changing the subject from what was posted by WordPress, but I think it is appropriate enough, and I shall keep it!

So hello there world! I think I have finally been struck by that trendy excitement to blog and tell the world, or whoever really gets on to read these things, about my thoughts… especially with all the exciting changes that are coming into my life. Bare with me for a little bit, however, as I slowly figure out how this blog site works, and hopefully you find the contents of my writing captivating enough to keep coming back, as I try to make the appearance nearly as profound!

Today, I am making a change. Making a change to my life, my relationship to Andrew, my friends and my family. Those of you, who have known me for awhile, who have been by me for most, if not all, of my university years, know it has been a big struggle for me this year to keep my spirits up, my passion and motivation going, as I have spread myself extremely thin, and at all times, my senior, final year of college, when I should be enjoying life to the fullest. Instead- it’s been absolute chaos and hell as the stress kept mounting higher and higher, pushing me to my breaking point.

I say NO MORE, as I write this to you today. I have realized after a very trying week, that is not how I should be living my life, and I will not live my life like that. The key is CHOICE- choosing to look at things with an optimistic spin… When work gets rough and, let’s be honest, mind-numbing, I simply think of my future and ponder, why this day, this moment, this job typing a bunch of numbers into a computer for hours on end is going to benefit me tomorrow, next week, next month, next year; it’s a stepping stone, or as that damn Miley Cyrus will say, “it’s the climb!”

So as you, reader, as my witness, from this day forth, I’m in it to win it, I’m doing this not because I have to, but because it is helping me reach my bigger goals in the near future… which today have still given a little gleam of light through this gray, white-out snowy weather I see out the window to my right in the Carolyn Irish Tanner Humanities Building at the University of Utah. And for now, I leave you with Miley… Sing it sista!